Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
