I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
