im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
