I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
