Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
