is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just gargled with NyQuil
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
