I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
