so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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