I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
