Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
