my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
