So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize