I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
