I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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