I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
