We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
