she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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