So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
