Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
