I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She announced her abortion via fbk
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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