brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Randomize
