party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You are a genius and a whore.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
