I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize