I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
