I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Randomize
