all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
