I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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