Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize