We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
