Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
