Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
