I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
