are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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