there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
