dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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