We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
