If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
