what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize