Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
It's just like the Real World with babies
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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