i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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