It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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