"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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