How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
