I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
