Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
