If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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