You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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