I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
