thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
