rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
