we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
