redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my liver is dry heaving
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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