So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
