Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
