Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
high people should be assigned attendants
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
