Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize