There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize