READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
