In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
