He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Your cock deserves a montage
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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