She is in my trunk
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you would pick up someone in the library
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
