As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
