i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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