dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
