counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
